Healing wounds
by pcworth
Summary: Maggie feared that Alex would one day spiral out of control in her search for Cadmus and she vowed she wouldn't stand around and watch it happen. When Alex chooses revenge, Maggie chooses to walk away. Can the two women come back together before it's too late? Warning: Dark Alex
1. Chapter 1

Maggie saw the gun pointed at her and for that small speck of time before she saw the shot, she thought about Alex.

…

Alex was sitting on the couch, her left leg stretched out on it and a beer in her hand despite it being just after 11 a.m. It's not as if she had anywhere to go, she figured and no one around to tell her not to drink it.

The television was on, but she wasn't even paying attention to whatever show she had put it on.

A part of her mind told her she needed to stop this, needed to get up, needed to get out of the apartment, needed to do something because that was who she was, someone who was always going full speed ahead.

It wasn't the part of her mind that won out as she took another drink.

There was a knock at the door, but she ignored it. When she heard a key turning in the lock she knew it could only be one person.

Kara came over to stand next to the couch, glancing over at the television. "I take it you haven't seen any news today?"

"No, it's just me and Netflix. Why, is the next alien invasion underway? If it is, I'm going to sit this one out, not that I have a choice in the matter."

"No, it's not that, it's um … there was a shooting at a corner store last night, a robbery attempt gone bad," Kara said. "There was an off-duty cop there and … it's Maggie, Alex, she was shot. She was off-duty so she wasn't wearing her vest. But they said it was a clean shot, went straight through and she's going to be ok, but she is in the hospital."

Alex's mind was stuck on "she was shot."

She didn't say anything for several moments, letting the words repeat in her brain. "You said she's going to be ok?"

"Yes. Winn hacked the hospital files to check on her and she lost a lot of blood but she's going to be fine. It hit her around her shoulder."

Alex merely nodded at this information.

"I thought maybe if you wanted I could go with you to the hospital," Kara said.

This brought Alex's full attention back to her sister. "No," she said.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure," she said, turning her attention back to the television as if to say the conversation was over.

"Ok," Kara said. "I'll just go. Call me if you need anything."

Alex didn't respond and Kara let herself out, locking the door behind her because she figured if she didn't Alex wouldn't bother to get up and do it. She was worried about her sister, but she didn't know how to help her.

No one seemed to know how to help her.

Kara wished that Alex would have wanted to go to the hospital and maybe her seeing Maggie again would be a good thing. She knew she was probably being foolish wishing that the two of them would get back together, but she wanted it to happen. Maggie made Alex happy – at least she used to and Kara wished she could turn back time to when her sister was happy – before Maggie broke off their engagement, before Kara had gotten caught up so much in her own stuff that she totally missed Alex slipping more and more into darkness, before Cadmus had nearly destroyed Alex because if she was being honest, she wasn't sure that Cadmus hadn't succeeded.

…

Alex didn't know why she was here outside of the hospital. She knew it was probably a bad idea to be here, yet, she needed to see for herself that Maggie was really ok. She hadn't called Kara to get her assistance in coming, instead she had called a cab.

Still, she was pausing, standing outside without moving to go in.

Finally, she started to move slowly to the door, steadying herself and hitting the button for the automatic door to swing open and entering. She got up to the reception desk and the woman gave her a head to toe look before asking, "do you have an appointment?"

"No, not a patient, just visiting one," Alex said. "Can I get a room number for a Margaret Sawyer?"

The woman's attention went back to the computer and Alex heard her typing as she looked around the place. It had been a while since she had been in any hospital that wasn't a DEO medbay facility. And she had spent more than her fair share of time in those.

For a moment her mind flashed to another life – one where she was a doctor in a hospital like this. A life where she hadn't thrown it all away and joined the DEO. One where she didn't even know about the existence of aliens.

"Ms. Sawyer is in room 419," the woman said. "The elevators are just down there."

Alex nodded and made her way to where the woman pointed. She got a couple of odd looks as she was standing there waiting with others, not that she was entirely surprised. She was after all cradling a small bonzai tree against her right side. Most sane people would have just brought flowers, but Alex was questioning her own sanity at this point.

Once she got in the elevator and someone hit the fourth floor for her she waited, again rethinking what she was doing there. She had no business being there. She and Maggie were no longer a couple and hadn't been for nearly seven months.

For her own peace of mind, she had to know though, know that Maggie was still alive, breathing and would be ok.

She thanked the man who held the elevator door open for her to exit and studied the sign directly across from the elevator to figure out which direction to go. Once she got her bearings, she headed down the hall and around the corner and was surprised the room was right there. Shit, she thought. She had hoped to have at least a few more steps before having to make this decision, the decision on whether to go in the room or just leave the damn tree at the nurses desk and ask one of them to deliver it to her.

The door was open to the room and Alex didn't hear anyone in there, at least no one talking. She got closer, almost to the frame of the door before deciding this was indeed a bad idea. She was about to turn around when a woman came out of the door and almost collided with her.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," the woman said. "I wasn't even paying attention."

"It's ok," Alex said, studying this woman who was clearly not a nurse or affiliated with the hospital, which begged the question of who she was and what she was doing in Maggie's room.

"Are you here to see Maggie?" the woman asked suddenly. Alex didn't speak. "I just assumed you were, since you have a bonzai tree and Maggie loves those little things. I think their size appeals to her."

She was a beautiful Latina woman, long black hair and green eyes – and while she seemed a little younger than Maggie, she didn't carry herself like a cop, which led Alex to the quick conclusion that this was someone who maybe was dating Maggie now.

Alex looked down at the tree in her arm and then at the woman again. "Yes, it's for her," she managed to say. "Maybe you could give it to her."

"Why don't you go on in, I mean she's asleep right now but it probably won't be long before she is awake. I'm sure she would love to have a visitor. Do you work with her?"

"No," Alex said. "I'm … I just heard about the shooting and I can't really stay so if you could, would you just set the tree in there with her."

"Sure," the woman said taking it from her. "I don't see a card, who should I say it's from?"

"Alex."

The woman's eyes registered that the name was familiar to her, and suddenly Alex wanted to be anywhere but where she was standing. "I have to go," she said quickly. "Just um … I hope she's going to be ok."

She turned wishing she could get out of there quickly, even though it wasn't really an option. By the time she reached the elevators and hit the button to go down, she knew this was a mistake. That is all she seemed to do lately – make mistakes. She wanted nothing more than to get another cab and go directly to the nearest bar.

…

Maggie opened her eyes to see her cousin Angela sitting there just as she had been when she fell asleep. "Did you at least get something to eat in the cafeteria?" Maggie asked her, drawing the young woman's attention off of the book she was reading.

Angela shut the book and leaned forward in the seat. "As a matter of fact, I was heading there not long after you started your little nap and almost collided with someone outside of your door."

"You always were the graceful one in the family," Maggie said, yawning as she tried to wake up more fully as she fiddled with the controls to raise the bed up a bit.

"Funny, but it wasn't just someone. It was Alex."

That got Maggie attention. "Alex was here?"

"Briefly. She brought you that bonzai tree there," Angela said, pointing to the tree she had put over by the window sill. Maggie looked at it with a small smile on her face. "She didn't stay long, in fact she never even entered the room to see you. She just gave me the tree and said she had to go."

"She didn't come in?"

Angela shook her head no. "She seemed in a hurry to leave."

Maggie knew she shouldn't even expect a visit from Alex, but the idea that Alex had come here but not into the room, hurt her. When she had first woken up there in the hospital, she had thought almost immediately about Alex and how she was thinking of her right before the bullet hit her. It had been seven months and Maggie was nowhere near the point of being able to move on with anyone else. Every time she had even thought about it, she thought about what she had with Alex.

They had been happy, happier than Maggie had ever felt she had the right to be. But even so, she had given Alex back the ring, and that was not something she could undo. But she had given Alex a choice and in the end Alex hadn't chosen her.

"Maggie," Angela said. "She didn't look well."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, she had a cast on her left leg and was walking with a crutch. Not even sure how she managed that and holding that tree to get up here," Angela said. "She was pale and I know you said she was fit, but she looked like death warmed over or like she was going to audition for the Walking Dead. She looked like she should be lying in one of these hospital beds."

"Where's my phone?" Maggie asked.

Angela got up and retrieved the phone and handed it to her. "Are you going to call her?"

"No," Maggie said. "I'm going to call James Olsen and tell him to get his ass down here, and then when he does, you can get a nurse on standby to help him after I kick that ass."

"Ok," Angela said. "Care to explain that."

"He was supposed to be keeping an eye on her. I ask him to do one thing, keep an eye on her."

"Is he in the FBI with her?"

Maggie sighed. She couldn't tell Angela what Alex really did for a living so she used Alex's FBI cover, which is the one she most commonly used out in the field when dealing with people who weren't in the know about the DEO. "He's a friend of her sister's and I thought he was a friend of mine," she said. "After we broke up, well I didn't really think hanging out with him would be the best idea and I didn't want any awkwardness but I did ask him to keep an eye on her and clearly he didn't."

"You still love her."

"Yes, you know this, I know this."

"But she probably doesn't. So why don't you call her instead of him."

Maggie gave her a look as if it was obvious. "I was shot and she couldn't even come in the room to see me. No, I'm not calling her. "

"But she brought you a tree. That has to mean something."

Maggie looked over at the tree once more, wishing maybe it was an olive branch, but Alex hadn't even stayed here to give it to her. She knew she had hurt Alex by her decision, and she had rethought that decision over and over again since she had done it. But Alex had been headed down a path that Maggie couldn't follow her on.

After things had settled down following the Daxamite invasion, things had been going well for them. She had been surprised by Alex's proposal but as they were standing there facing each other Maggie couldn't think of any reason why she wouldn't want to spend the rest of her life with Alex. Their happiness was short lived though as Cadmus had been ramping up its activities and Alex again became obsessed with finding the organization and taking it on – by herself if need be.

It was after one of these missions that Maggie had gotten a call from Winn to say Alex was in the medbay. She had rushed over and Alex was fine – just a concussion and bruised ribs. She had gotten injured because she had refused to pull back when J'onn had ordered them to. Maggie hadn't confronted her about her recklessness immediately, waiting for Alex to heal up. When she did bring it up, it had sparked a fight between them.

They had gotten through it, but the next time it happened – Alex having gone into a suspected Cadmus facility without waiting for backup – Maggie had given her a choice either stop this solo hunt for all things Cadmus or Maggie was going to walk away. She hadn't wanted to, but she needed Alex to stop and see the situation for what it was. She was obsessed with Cadmus and finding her father once again to the detriment of everything else. She canceled plans on even the rumor of something Cadmus related. She was working more and more hours, sometimes sleeping at the DEO facility or skipping meals.

Maggie thought for sure that Alex would see reason, would take a step back from this and come back to her.

Alex hadn't though and Maggie had given her back the ring and moved out.

Maggie hadn't wanted to give her such an ultimatum but she didn't know how else to stop her. She couldn't even turn to Kara for help because Kara was going through her own crisis of identity.

She knew if someone didn't stop Alex that there was no way this ended well. She knew Alex had this hope, despite what he had done, that her father could be saved, that if she could just get him out of Cadmus' grasp for good then he could be the father that she wanted him to be.

Maggie wished that for her, but she wasn't hopeful that would be the case. And she knew that if it ended like she suspected it would be Alex who would be the one hurting the most.

Now after what Angela had told her, she feared the worst.

…

James gave Maggie a modified hug to avoid her left side where her wound had been bandaged.

"I'm glad you're ok," he said.

"Thanks," she said.

"When are you getting out of here?"

"Tomorrow," she answered. "I wish it were today, but doctor's orders and all. And of course I can't go back to work for several weeks and even then it will be desk duty at first."

He smiled at her, knowing that part of it probably hurt worse than the bullet wound. "We've missed you," he said. "Winn, me, Kara, even J'onn."

She noticed he didn't say Alex. When she had called him, she had merely asked if he would come visit her, deciding over the phone was not the time to bring up why she wanted to speak with him. She had calmed down a bit but she had been unable to get Alex out of her mind. She had asked Angela to go over everything she could recall about her interaction with Alex and how she appeared. She knew she probably sounded like some obsessed ex but despite how it ended, she still worried about Alex, still loved Alex.

"I miss you guys too," she said. "All of you."

"I was happy you called," he said. "I know you thought it would be best to maintain your distance, but I don't see why we can't still be friends."

"Alex came here to see me."

"She did?"

"Yep," she said. "I didn't get to see her or talk to her because I was asleep and she didn't come in here or anything, but she dropped off that bonzai tree there for me. My cousin Angela was here at the time, spoke to her briefly."

She paused to see if James would say anything. When he didn't, she continued. "Angela told me that Alex was walking with a crutch and she didn't look good. What happened?"

"Are you sure you want to know?" he asked. "When you said it would be best for us not to see each other going forward you said a part of it was that you didn't think you could do it. I assume you meant because of Alex."

"Yeah, and I also told you to keep an eye on her and apparently that didn't happen," she said, not appreciating him bringing her own decision up.

"I tried. We all tried, but she wouldn't stop," he said. "After you and her … she was at work all the time. J'onn had to force to leave several times, but even when she wasn't there she was still working, trying to find out any lead on Cadmus. She was responsible for discovering several of their sites and she lead the raids on them, and while they were successful, it was all small-time stuff, not what she was really looking for."

"Her father," Maggie said.

"Or Lillian Luther," James said. "I'm not really sure which she wanted to find more. She even had me keeping an ear out for anything I might hear while being Guardian. Then it happened about a month ago, Cadmus got to Kara. They took her right after she had finished at the scene of that office building fire downtown."

Maggie remembered that. It was a seven-story building that had caught on fire with employees inside, right in the middle of the day. Supergirl had flown in and saved them and put the fire out.

"Did they hurt her?" Maggie asked.

James shook his head no. "They only took her to send a message to Alex. Lillian Luther wanted to meet her alone. Alex, of course, agrees to it despite it being a clear trap. She didn't care. J'onn ordered her not to even though he knew he couldn't stop her. He insisted on her wearing a tracker however, but when she got to location there was only a laptop with a message telling her to remove any tracking devices and wait. She did so and the DEO was still monitoring and J'onn had dispatched a team that was ready to move in and then Alex just leaves. No words, no explanation, she just leaves the site. J'onn had the team tracking her through visual contact but she lost them easily enough. They didn't know it at the time but Luther had given her a second location and told her to get there alone. For five days, nothing. There was no trace of them, no communication from Cadmus, no demands or any contact. Then Kara calls in their location. The team gets there, finds no one in the building but Kara who is weakened from exposure to Kryptonite, Alex who had a broken leg and other smaller injuries and Jeremiah, who was dead on the floor. Alex was just holding onto him, refusing to let anyone attend to her wounds or anything or come near him. She had a gun in her hand and she pointed it at anyone who tried to get close to them. She wasn't saying a word just sitting there holding him. Finally, J'onn used his powers to knock her unconscious so she could be taken back to the DEO. No one really knows what happened. Kara isn't saying and Alex didn't say anything when she woke up in the medbay. She was just there staring at the walls, refusing to speak to anyone. When the doctor said she could be released, she left and hasn't been back. She skipped her follow up appointments, she hasn't answered any calls. Kara told J'onn she just needs some time, but no one really knows. I don't even know that Kara knows. I know she is worried about Alex, but Alex seems to be shunning her company too. She didn't even go to Midvale when they buried Jeremiah. Until you told me that she came here, I wasn't sure she had actually left her place in all this time."

Maggie looked away from James when he finished. Her heart felt constricted in her chest. Poor Alex. Her father was dead and she probably witnessed it, Maggie thought. This was what Maggie had been afraid of – that Alex would push too far and Cadmus would push back. She turned back to James, "I need to see her."


	2. Chapter 2

This time Alex was lying in bed when there was a knock on her door. She didn't know why Kara insisted on knocking when she had a key. Normally, she would have flown in one of the windows but she hadn't seen Kara as Supergirl since it happened. Maybe she should get the key back from her anyway, Alex thought. She didn't need her coming over here. She didn't need anyone around her.

The knocking was replaced by a pounding at the door. "Open up Danvers, I know you are in there."

Alex sat up in bed as soon as she heard Danvers – it was Maggie.

Why would Maggie be here? She cursed herself for going to the hospital. She knew she shouldn't have gone and now this.

"Danvers, I'm not leaving until you open the door. I don't care if I have to camp out here."

She didn't sound happy, then again, why would she be happy at least with her, Alex thought. Still, Alex didn't move from her spot. In fact, she laid back down and put the pillow over her head hoping to drown out any more of her voice.

She was startled when her phone rang. She pulled the pillow aside and reached for it. No one called her anymore – well that wasn't technically true her mom called every few days and J'onn had called as well. She always answered her mom's calls but never J'onn's. She didn't even know why her mom called her as there was little for them to say to each other at this point.

This time it was Maggie calling. Alex put the phone down. Maggie would get the point that she didn't want to see her. Maggie would lose interest and leave – after all she had already left Alex once. When the phone stopped ringing there was no notification of a message. See, she thought, she is already losing interest in this.

There was another pounding at the door.

"Alex, please open the door."

Alex – Maggie hardly ever called her by her first name.

More pounding. Another plea to open the door. Another phone call. More pounding. And then nothing.

Alex had laid there throughout it and then continued to lay there for another 40 minutes or so before reaching for her crutch and getting out of bed. She made her way to the fridge and pulled out a beer. She was down to her last two and she was out of any other alcohol.

Popping the top off she took a long first drink and followed it up with several more until she had drained it as fast as she could. Then she took her last one, knowing she would have to go to the store later and get more. There was a small store a couple of blocks down, probably similar to the one Maggie was in when she got shot.

Despite her lack of reaction to Kara, when she heard Maggie had been shot, she had feared the worst. They had talked about it once – the danger present in each of their jobs.

At least she knew that Maggie was out of the hospital now, which meant she was fine.

She took a drink and then began to make her way over to the couch. She was part way there when there was a single, sharp knock at the door.

"I can hear you in there," Maggie said. "I'm still here waiting. Sitting on the floor like an idiot, but I'm still here."

Alex took another drink and then moved back toward the kitchen, putting the beer on the counter and then heading toward her door. She didn't open it, just stood there.

"Go away," she said.

"Not happening," Maggie responded immediately. Alex heard movement and she guessed that Maggie had stood up. "So let me in."

A part of her wanted to open that door to see Maggie, even if it was only for a few seconds. But she knew she wasn't strong enough for that. She was weak – Lillian Luther had proven that. She had torn down any part of her that was strong. This is what she had been reduced to and she didn't want Maggie seeing that.

"Go away," she said again, although this time it sounded more like a plea.

"I know about Cadmus."

Alex backed up a step. How did Maggie know? If she knew, why would she come here? She couldn't possibly know. No one knew what had happened except Kara and she had made her swear never to tell anyone. It was the first thing she had said to anyone after waking up in medbay. Kara had come to check on her and she made her swear it – threatened her really. Kara had already told J'onn in private so there was nothing Alex could do about that, but she could make sure no one else ever knew.

Had Kara told her?

"I'm sorry about your father," Maggie said.

Again, Alex backed up, looking down at the floor and trying to hold back the tears. She needed Maggie to go away. She couldn't do this. She moved away from the door, retrieving her beer and heading toward the bathroom. In her medicine cabinet she found the over the counter sleeping pills she had bought shortly after Maggie had left her. She had trouble getting to sleep so she would down a couple, sleep for a few hours at least and then get up to head back to work.

She looked at herself in the mirror. She stood there staring back at her reflection wondering when it had all gone wrong and she thought again about that other life – one where her father lived, one where Kara never came into their lives.

She shook the thought from her mind. It was a dangerous train of thought, but one she couldn't help thinking about ever since Lillian Luther had put it there.

 _"Imagine your life Alex, imagine what it could be if you had grown up as you should have," Lillian had said. "If an alien hadn't come into your life. What would you be? Who would you be? Because right now, you are nothing more than a slave to that alien in there. Look at how she has dictated your life. What right did she have to come here and take your spot as Eliza and Jeremiah's daughter?"_

Alex closed her eyes, trying to keep the memory of that voice at bay.

The crutch fell to the floor and she used the counter to brace herself and then finally she slid down to the floor with some difficulty due to her leg. Her breaths were coming in short bursts. There were many times she had felt like the weight of the world was on top of her and now it felt like it was crushing her.

…

Maggie got back off of the floor when she saw Kara approaching. She had been sitting there for a couple of hours now when the apartment had gone silent. She realized that Alex wasn't going to let her in. She had done the only thing she could – she called Kara to let her in.

"Thank you," she said giving Kara a hug, although slightly awkward with her arm in a sling still.

"I should be thanking you," Kara responded.

"I haven't done anything to be thanked for."

"You are here, aren't you? She's pushing everyone away from her, maybe she will let you get close."

"So far. she won't even let me in the door," Maggie said. "But I am here and I do want to help. Is there anything you can tell me about what happened to you two when Cadmus had you? All I got was what James knew which wasn't much."

Kara looked down at her feet as she shook her head no.

"Hey," Maggie said, forcing her to look back up at her. "Alex isn't the only one who needs to talk about it."

"I can't," Kara said. "She made me promise I would never talk about it with anyone. If I break that promise, well, let's just say she won't ever be my sister again if I do that."

"That bad?"

Kara nodded. "If you want to know, you are going to have to get her to tell you."

Maggie didn't see that happening any time soon. She stepped aside and Kara began to unlock the door but she paused.

"What is it?" Maggie asked.

"I can't hear her heart beat."

"Go!" Maggie said.

Both rushed into the apartment, Maggie calling out Alex's name while Kara quickly checked the place.

"She isn't here," Kara said.

Maggie looked around this time and saw the window was open – the one that led to the fire escape. "Damn it," Maggie swore. She hadn't heard anything as Alex must have been extra quiet to pull off her escape. Were things really that bad between them that Alex would rather run away than speak to her.

"Maggie," Kara said and Maggie turned to see Kara next to the kitchen counter, a piece of paper in her hand.

Maggie moved forward and took it from Kara's hand. It was a simple message in Alex's handwriting – "Don't look for me."

Meeting Kara's eyes and seeing the unspoken question in them, Maggie simply said, "We have to find her."


	3. Chapter 3

If J'onn thought it was odd that Maggie was with Kara when they walked into the DEO a couple of hours later, he didn't make any comment about it. She had driven there while Kara had flown around the city trying to find her sister. As soon as Kara had landed next to Maggie's car, Maggie knew that she hadn't found any trace of her.

When Kara had first flown off, Maggie had taken her time going around the apartment she used to live in, looking for any clues as to where Alex may have gone. For the most part, it appeared Alex hadn't taken anything with her.

In fact, it looked as if Alex hadn't touched much in the apartment since Maggie had moved out. The spot next to one of the windows where Maggie had put a bonsai plant was still empty. She wondered if Alex didn't change anything up because she hoped Maggie would come back or if she just didn't care either way.

They had no idea how long she could have been gone from the apartment, but it was at least two hours since Maggie had last heard her in there. Now she had been missing at least four hours.

There was one thing missing from the apartment that made Maggie worry – Alex's spare gun. She had taken it from the gun safe in the closet. She wasn't even sure what made her look in it only that she knew Alex kept a handgun there for emergencies. The code hadn't been changed and when Maggie opened it to see it was empty she grew even more concerned.

Maggie was staying back a bit as Kara explained to J'onn that Alex was gone. She felt like an idiot for letting Alex slip out of the apartment without her knowing. She should have heard something or sensed something.

Where would Alex have gone was the main question in her mind and the only thing Maggie could think of was that maybe she was drowning her sorrows in some bar. She hated that she even thought that, but she also knew how Alex was. There was evidence of Alex's drinking in the apartment – empty beer and liquor bottles on various surfaces and in the trash. Alex was always taking everyone's pain and trying to carry it for them, that she didn't always know how to deal with her own pain.

And this pain was Maggie's fault.

God, if Alex had just opened the door If Maggie could have looked her in the eyes.

It was wishful thinking to believe it would be that easy. There was no easy fix to what had happened between them.

She wondered if Alex had as much regret as she did over how things ended.

"I checked all the places that Alex goes to that I know of," Kara was telling J'onn.

"Alex is smart, she would know you would check places that are familiar to her. If she truly doesn't want to be found then we aren't going to find her in any place known to us," J'onn said. "Winn has been trying to track her phone but so far no luck."

Winn turned back toward his terminal and J'onn motioned for Kara and Maggie to follow him. They went back into his office and shut the door.

"Do we have any idea what caused her to take off like this?" he asked.

"Me most likely," Maggie sighed. "I went to her place to talk to her. She wouldn't let me in and I refused to leave until she opened the door to talk to me. She snuck out the window while I was outside the door. I never heard anything that would give me an indication she was leaving."

"I wouldn't put the blame on your shoulders," J'onn said. "Alex has been … different as of late."

"Yeah, I gathered that, so do one of you want to tell me what the hell happened when Cadmus had her?" Maggie asked, her hands on her hips.

J'onn looked at Kara, who was looking down at her feet, still unwilling to give up whatever this secret was, so Maggie turned her attention to J'onn. "What is it? What happened to her?"

"I can't say," J'onn said.

"You too?"

"Even if she hadn't asked me not to ever say a word about it, I still probably would not tell you," J'onn said. "Suffice it to say, what they did to Alex broke her."

Maggie ended up taking a seat in one of the chairs. She needed to think this through. Alex, who had built herself up into some sort of unstoppable super secret agent, had been stopped by the one organization she had sworn to end. It had cost her, her father and it had cost her Maggie. Normally, Maggie reasoned, Alex would turn to her sister for comfort, but not in this case. Kara too had experienced something at the hands of Cadmus that she was unwilling to speak about and she too seemed lost.

It was a different kind of lost from how she seemed after the Daxamite invasion. No, this was something that cut deeper than that.

She tried putting herself in Alex's mindset to figure out where she might go, but without knowing what happened to her, she found it impossible.

The coms went off while they were all silent with their own thoughts.

"Sir, I'm unable to track Alex's cellphone," Winn said. "But I may know where she is at. Her credentials were logged in at the desert base about 20 minutes ago."

"The desert base, what would she be doing there?"

"I don't know, but I've been trying to raise someone, anyone over there and I'm not getting through. It looks like their communications have been locked down."

J'onn looked at Kara, "Go."

Supergirl sped off as Maggie stood up. "Any idea why she would go out there instead of coming in here?"

"No," J'onn said. "The two bases are essentially the same. The capabilities of this base are more extensive and everything they have there, we have here, except …"

"Sir," Winn said. "It looks like Alex has accessed the system over there and has downloaded all our information on Cadmus."

"Block her access, now."

"it's too late for that, she is already logged off. Whatever she was looking for, she has it."

"What does that base have that you don't have here?" Maggie asked.

"It's where the experimental weapon testing goes on since it's far from the city," J'onn said.

"She's going after Cadmus again."

"It would appear so."

…

Kara found the bay door she usually entered at this base locked. She tried her login keycode, but it was denied.

"Winn, I can't get in."

"The system is under lockdown," Winn replied.

"Do we know why?"

"No, we've lost all communication."

"I'm going to have to force the door open then," Kara replied as she gripped the bottom of the door and pulled it up. There was no alarm which would normally sound during a lockdown but the red lights that were usually active were going.

She knew protocol was for all active personnel to go to the command center so she headed that way. The door there was also locked but she forced it open only to find several agents pointing guns at her.

"Supergirl," said Lucy Lane as she came forward. "What's happening out there?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing about what was happening here? Why are you on lockdown?"

"We don't know. It was triggered remotely by DEO headquarters," Lucy said. "But we couldn't reach anyone on coms."

"Where is Alex?"

"Alex isn't here," Lucy said. "She isn't even back on active duty, is she?"

"Winn?" Kara said. "What's going on here?"

"Don't know, trying to figure it out," he said.

J'onn and Maggie were standing behind Winn as he worked. "She tripped the lockdown remotely," Winn said. "She was never there."

"How did she do that and why?" J'onn asked.

"Trying to figure out the how, not sure of the why?" Winn said.

Maggie stepped back, thinking this through. "She did it to get Supergirl away from here," Maggie said. "She's not there, she's here."

J'onn turned from her to Winn. "Call up the security monitors."

The main screen turned into several views of the compound. They were all looking at them, searching for any hint of Alex. "There," Maggie said, pointing to the top right. While the camera didn't show the person's face and they were dressed in full tactical gear, it was clear there was something wrong with the person's leg as they were practically dragging it. She was headed toward the garage.

"Supergirl, get back here now," J'onn said. He turned to look at Maggie, but she wasn't there. "Winn, whatever vehicle she gets in, track it."

Maggie was running through the corridors as fast as she could, hoping she would reach Alex in time. She reached the garage bay but an SUV was pulling out and she barely caught a glimpse of Alex in the driver's seat.

"Damn it," she swore.

Supergirl was almost to the DEO headquarters, "Where is she Winn?"

"Turning on Locust," Winn said.

Kara looked around and she saw a black SUV. "I got her," she said and she swooped down in front of the vehicle forcing it to stop. The driver looked at her in confusion – it wasn't Alex.

…

Maggie was sitting to the side as J'onn, Lucy, Kara and Winn were discussing what they thought Alex might be up or more precisely what was her next target.

They had gone back through the security footage but Alex had turned it off once she reached her terminal in the lab. Even though she was supposed to be on medical leave, the people she encountered on her way didn't think it strange that she was there. She had been in the building for nearly 40 minutes before being discovered.

She had come in wearing civilian clothing and using her crutch, but she had disabled the cameras in the other areas she went to including the locker room where she changed into her tactical gear. Alex appeared to be using her cellphone to switch the cameras off and on based on her movements, all the while leaving people watching a loop of old footage.

Alex had planned it all out perfectly. Even the SUV had been masterful. Alex had rented the exact same model of SUV as the ones the DEO used and hired a driver just to drive it around the area for an hour. She must have hooked up a DEO tracker on it and when she left the DEO in the other SUV, she activated the tracker in the rental at the same time as deactivating the one in the vehicle she was using. It worked as Winn ended up tracking the wrong one and Alex had gotten away.

Lucy was impressed, although the comment earned her a look from J'onn. He asked her to go through the Cadmus data that Alex had downloaded to see if she could get any idea where Alex might be headed. Lucy had asked Maggie if she wanted to help, but she declined. Instead she stayed where she was at thinking all of this through.

One thing was bothering her – the footage showed Alex going into an evidence storage room. J'onn himself had gone to look there but he was being tightlipped about what if anything Alex had taken.

All of these secrets were almost more than she could take. All she wanted was the chance to see Alex face to face and talk with her. Whatever had happened to her at the hands of Cadmus, Maggie needed to know she was going to be ok because right now she seemed to be the furthest thing from ok.

This was worse than Alex going rogue before. At least Maggie had been there at her side. Now, it appeared Alex wanted no one at her side.

"Supergirl, go check on Lena Luther," J'onn said.

"Lena? Why?" Supergirl asked.

"Because despite whatever relationship she has with Lillian, she is still her daughter."

"You don't think Alex would … she wouldn't go after Lena to get to Lillian."

"I hope she wouldn't either, but right now we don't know what is going through her mind," J'onn said. "Our priority is finding her and getting her back here."

Kara left and Maggie stood up and started to walk out. "Detective," J'onn said.

"I can't stay here and wait," she said. "If you find out anything useful let me know."

He nodded but said nothing and she walked out. Getting into her car, she laid her head back against the rest and closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them, she opened her center console and took out the prescription bottle. Using what was left of a bottle of water she swallowed two pills for the pain in her shoulder from her bullet wound. She hadn't really thought much about the pain for the last couple of hours, but now that she was alone the pain seemed to creep back in.

She imagined that Alex too must be hurting with that leg. It was why she was hopeful that despite her fast actions in getting in and out of the DEO that she would be forced to take some time before going off on her Cadmus hunt.

That may be their only saving grace here, that Alex was in no shape to be confronting Cadmus right now. Maybe it would give Maggie enough time to find her and stop her.


	4. Chapter 4

Maggie stood inside the apartment that she once lived in with Alex. She had asked Kara if she could have the key in order to make sure they hadn't missed anything that pointed to where Alex might be. After her little raid at the DEO, Alex had also emptied out several DEO drop sites around the city. As J'onn explained it, these were caches that had some cash, clothes, burner cells, weapons as an emergency back up if an agent ever needed it.

Alex of course knew where all of them were located.

Based on the inventory from those sites, Alex now had a small arsenal in her possession.

No one doubted what her next move was going to be – going after Cadmus and Lillian Luther once and for all.

At the last site, Alex had left behind her cellphone. Not that they had been able to track her with it, but apparently Alex wasn't going to take any chances. Winn had unlocked the phone to see if there were any clues that might help them determine where she was or what she might have planned. Maggie noticed that Alex hadn't deleted the pictures from it – pictures of the two of them together.

Maggie wasn't sure if she was happy that Alex had kept them or sad because she knew how happy they had been together.

Again, Maggie had tried to get Kara to tell her exactly what happened to her and Alex at the hands of Cadmus but whatever it was Kara was unwilling to break the promise she had made to Alex about never speaking of it.

Eliza had come in from Midvale and was staying with Kara at least for a few days in hopes that they could find Alex. Kara had been flying around the city every chance she got looking for Alex, but had found no trace of her. It was possible she wasn't even in the city any longer. She could have decided to lay low somewhere else until she planned out her next move.

"Come on Alex, where are you?" Maggie said out loud as she looked around the room.

Alex always kept her place neat but even that had deteriorated a bit. Maggie knew she would most likely find no clues here, but she had wanted to come if nothing else to feel closer to Alex. She ended up in the bedroom sitting on the edge of the bed on what would have been Alex's side.

How many mornings had she woken so happy just to be there in bed with Alex? How many times had they kissed each other good morning or even delayed getting up to have a little fun?

She had missed Alex, missed her since the moment she had walked out of here with the engagement ring no longer on her finger.

Guilt was eating at her now. If she hadn't left then maybe Alex wouldn't be in the position she was in now. Yet, she had already seen Alex going down a dark path while they were together.

That was why she had given Alex the ultimatum.

She knew that Alex wouldn't stop unless she was forced to and Maggie thought she could force her to, but she was wrong.

She went through the rest of the apartment doing what she said she came there to do, but there was no indication of where Alex might now be. Maggie didn't figure there would be but she needed to be here – needed to feel close to Alex once more.

She had to believe it wasn't too late for Alex.

…

Alex kept her head down and her hood up until she entered the electronics store where she finally put the hood down and looked around. While she would prefer to keep the hood up on the sweatshirt she was wearing she figured it would draw more attention to herself when right now she was trying to stay off the DEO radar. She would put the hood back up when she exited the store.

She knew what she was after and she had the cash to pay for it thanks to the DEO drop sites, but she forced herself not to go too quickly. She didn't need the clerk remembering some anxious woman who had walked with a noticeable limp.

She shouldn't be walking on the leg and was probably doing more damage to it by walking but using the crutches wasn't really an option right now.

Pretty soon it wouldn't matter.

Getting what she needed, she put her hood up as she exited the store. She needed to get back so she could rest her leg and get to work.

She had to dump the DEO SUV she had used, so she was relegated for now at least to using cabs which was not ideal but she couldn't walk that much. As she got into the cab, she almost gave the driver her home address and for a moment she thought how easy it would be to go back there and lie down in her own bed, but she shook off the thought and gave another address instead.

The longer the drive took the more antsy she became. She felt like any second the cab would be surrounded by DEO agents, even though she had taken what precautions she could to not be caught. She couldn't let them stop her.

Not being able to take it any longer she told the cab to pull over and she paid him the fare, got out, looking all around her before putting the hood up and walking away. She only made it a block before she had to flag down another cab. Her leg felt like it was on fire.

She thought about how this all started and she got angry.

 _After leaving the first site where she had been instructed to get rid of any tracking devices on her, she was given a clue as to where to meet Lillian Luther but only if she left behind any one who might be following her. She knew J'onn would be pissed at her, but she needed to get to Kara._

 _With all her DEO training, it wasn't hard to leave the others behind and she made her way a few blocks north and there was a car waiting for her at the corner. She checked all around her before approaching it and bent over to see who the driver was. As soon as she saw it was Lillian – something she was not expecting – she got in the car._

 _"Thank you for coming alone," Lillian said._

 _"How do you know I did?"_

 _"Because Alexandra, this means more to you than rules." With that Lillian put the car in drive and neither woman said anything for several streets._

 _"You better be taking me to Supergirl," Alex said._

 _Lillian glanced over at her before returning her attention to the path in front of her. "In due time," she said. "First, I thought you and I should have a little talk. I do hope you don't mind me hijacking you for a bit, but I feel like I can help you …"_

 _"Help me?" Alex interrupted. "The only thing I need from you is Supergirl's location."_

 _"You can call her Kara in front of me," Lillian said. "It's not like I don't know who she is. I know quite a lot about her and you. But as I was saying, I want to help you. I want you to really listen to me, not just pretend to. I promise you, I will take you to your sister, and your father."_

 _Alex wanted to grab this woman, force her to stop the car and beat her if she had to in order to find out where Kara and her father was, but she knew she couldn't. For all she knew, there were a cadre of Cadmus agents following them. She really didn't have any choice but to play along with whatever game this was that Lillian was playing._

 _"I'm listening," Alex said._

 _"No, you're not, at least not yet, but I trust you will because you will see what I have to say has merit," Lillian said. "Now look around you, look outside these windows and what do you see?"_

 _Resisting the urge to roll her eyes, she said, "I don't know, cars, buildings, people."_

 _"Exactly, people. Human people. Because that is who belongs on this planet," Lillian said. "Those others, the aliens like Supergirl should not be here."_

 _"And where would you have them go?" Alex said. "Many of them can't return to their home worlds. Earth is the only home some of them know."_

 _"I don't really care where they go as along as it's off our world," Lillian said. "Do you think because aliens like Supergirl and Superman put on silly costumes and fly around saving people that it offsets the danger they pose to all of us? No don't answer that yet, because I know how you will answer it. My goal here is for you to at least consider the alternative."_

 _Alex laughed, "If that is the purpose of this little chit-chat I can assure you that my answer won't change."_

 _"You know your father thought the same thing."_

 _Alex clenched her right fist, trying to remain calm. She knew Lillian was only bringing up her father to get under skin and she couldn't let her know it was working._

 _"What, no snappy comeback?" Lillian smiled. "That's ok. I know this is hard for you. Coming to the realization that what you believe isn't how things should be is difficult, but I wouldn't be here with you if I didn't think you could be shown the light as it were. You see Alexandra, Jeremiah would like his daughter to be at his side as he continues the work he is doing for Cadmus. I was resistant to the idea at first. It's not that I don't think you could be a valuable asset, it's just that you have been brainwashed from the moment that alien came into your life and I'm not sure you have the will to break through that. But I respect Jeremiah, I even consider him a friend so if he says he wants you at his side, who am I to stand in the way. But I can't just have you walking in there and learning all our secrets without you truly devoting yourself to our cause."_

 _Alex didn't know how to respond to that. She needed to get her father and Kara out of the clutches of Cadmus. She surely wasn't going to join the team and why would Lillian Luther of all people think that she would – especially after all she had done to bring down this organization. But maybe if she played along she could at least get to her father and Kara and together they could find a way out of this. Lillian was smart though and would surely see through her if she was too agreeable._

 _"When are you going to take me to Kara?" Alex asked._

 _"Soon," Lillian responded. "But to get there you are going to need to open the glove box there in front of you."_

 _Alex did so and found only a box in there which she took out._

 _"Go ahead and open it."_

 _Opening it she saw a vial and a syringe. Picking up the vial she saw it was fairly common sedative._

 _"Now, Dr. Danvers, I'm sure you can figure out the correct dosage to give yourself so that you take a little nap. Once you do, I will transport you to that alien you think so highly of."_

 _Alex made no move to do anything as she thought this through. If she did it, then she would be completely at Lillian's mercy. If she didn't do it though it was doubtful that Lillian would be taking her anywhere. Maybe this was a test to see if Alex thought she could trust Lillian and vice versa._

 _Taking the syringe, she plunged it into the vial and withdrew enough to knock herself unconscious for several hours. She didn't skimp as she was sure that Lillian was taking note of everything she was doing. Pulling up the sleeve on her left arm, she found a vein and injected the sedative. Putting away the syringe and vial and putting the box to the side, she looked at Lillian._

 _"Your move."_

 _Lillian again gave her that smile._

 _"Very good," Lillian said. "Now again, I would like you to listen to me in the time you have before that sedative kicks in. I want you to think about your life Alexandra, think about how different your life would be if Kara had never come into it, if no alien had ever come into contact with your family. Think about growing up in that household where your parents' love was not split between you and a make believe sister, but instead it was all focused on you. Your father would never have gone away and you could still visit him and Eliza on weekends or holidays at the home in Midvale. But who would you be Alexandra? Who would you be in a world without aliens? Perhaps you would have come to bits of realizations about yourself quicker, such as your recent coming out. Imagine knowing that about yourself in your teens and twenties because your focus wasn't on caring for someone who was never supposed to be in this world. Who would you be in that life?"_

 _If Lillian had said anything else, Alex didn't hear it. She had felt the sedative coming on but she had tried to fight it even though she knew it wasn't possible. She could only hope that when she woke she would be there with Kara and her father._

"Miss?"

Alex realized the cab had stopped and the driver was waiting for payment.

"Are you sure this is where you want to stop?" he asked, looking around.

"Yes," she said, giving him more than enough for the fare and getting out of the car quickly. She waited for him to leave, checking all around her to make sure she wasn't followed before she headed toward her destination. It was the only place she could think of that Kara wouldn't find her at – no one knew how to find her here. Well, that wasn't entirely true, but she figured the chance of Maggie remembering her making an off-hand comment about it were slim. Besides, she didn't plan to be here long.


	5. Chapter 5

Maggie was back at the DEO for an update on Alex which wasn't amounting to much of anything. When she first got there, Eliza approached her to ask how her wound was and how she had been. Her shoulder still hurt but it wasn't bad like it had been when it first happened. She was a little surprised when Eliza gave her a hug and thanked her for being there.

"I don't know that anything I'm doing is helpful," Maggie shrugged. "I feel like if I hadn't have shown up at her apartment like that then maybe she wouldn't have taken off."

"That wasn't your fault," Eliza said. "Alex is hurting right now and it's clouding her judgment. But we're going to find her and bring her back so she can get the help she needs."

Maggie had wanted to ask Eliza if she knew what had happened to Alex while she and Kara were held by Cadmus but somehow it didn't seem right to ask her. After all, Eliza was probably still grieving over Jeremiah and now with Alex missing Maggie didn't feel comfortable asking her.

But she had decided that she wasn't leaving today without some sort of information about what happened. She was a detective which meant she needed all the information available to help her do her job. She understood that what happened was traumatic to Kara, but Maggie needed to know so she could figure out what was going through Alex's head beyond simple revenge against Cadmus.

There had been no sign of Alex and they had no leads. Right now, it was her, J'onn, Kara, Eliza, Winn and Lucy sitting in a conference room trying to brainstorm.

There were suspected Cadmus labs in places other than National City, which Lucy gave them the breakdown on, but no one seemed to think that Alex would go for those.

Maggie was less concerned about what she might be targeting as to where she might be hiding.

There was a knock at the door and J'onn told whoever it was to come in. The man, who Maggie didn't know, came up to J'onn and said something to him quietly and J'onn immediately looked at Eliza. Then he turned to Winn, "call down to lab 1, put them on the vid screen."

A few seconds of typing and the screen came live and they could see one of the lead researchers, Kenyon, there.

"What's going on?" J'onn asked.

"We had an incident a little while ago with the sample of Agent Danvers' blood – the one taken immediately after the rescue. I'm not even sure how to explain it except that it exploded in the vial. We don't know how. It was sitting in the fridge with other samples and one of the techs heard a cracking noise and when he went to investigate the vial was in pieces and the blood was splattered around."

Eliza got to her feet. "Is there enough left to test?"

"Yes, the sample itself it in tact just spread out from the force of whatever happened. But we tested another sample when she returned and outside of a sedative in her system everything came back normal."

"Clearly this is anything but normal," J'onn said. "Get that sample tested."

"Yes sir."

The screen went blank and J'onn turned back to them. "Any ideas?"

"None," Eliza said. "But something had to have caused that. I should probably get down there."

J'onn nodded and she quickly left.

"Did they do something to her when they had her?" Maggie asked. She was met with silence and that only served to make her even more mad. "Damn it, you got to give me something here. You two keeping secrets isn't going to help us find her. Now, was there any indication that they did something to her?"

"Winn, Lucy, can you give us the room?" J'onn asked. They both got up and left so that it was just J'onn, Kara and Maggie left.

"They didn't hurt her, I did," Kara said softly.

"What do you mean?" Maggie asked, not even sure she heard Kara right.

"Her broken leg," Kara replied. "I did that to her, not them. I kicked her leg, I felt the break, I heard her scream. The only person who hurt her was me."

Maggie didn't say anything at first as she absorbed this information. Maggie felt bad as Kara looked completely defeated. And while Maggie didn't want to press the issue, she had to.

"You wouldn't do something like that on purpose," Maggie said. "You wouldn't so why don't you tell me how that ended up happening."

"They we're keeping me in a room with Kryptonite dampeners – just enough to make me about the strength of a human. Jeremiah had come in the room first and unlocked me as they had me on this table of sorts," she said. "Then they brought Alex in under armed guard and she shook her head slightly to signal that I shouldn't try anything yet. Lillian didn't come in the room, but we heard her voice over an intercom system.

 _"Perhaps it isn't the family reunion you were envisioning but as promised Alex, here is your father and the alien you are so fond of," Lillian said. "Now let's continue our conversation, shall we?"_

 _"What is the point of this?" Alex asked, her eyes on her father not Kara._

 _"As I said before, your father would like you to work at his side but to do that you need to get past the belief that this alien is your sister. You need to see her and the rest of the aliens who have invaded our planet for what they really are – a danger to humans. So, we're about to have a demonstration."_

 _The guards around Alex pulled out their guns and pointed them at her head, while another one moved to stand beside Jeremiah._

 _"Now I can guess by now you are thinking – are these guys close enough to me that I could disarm them before they got a shot off. I will just caution you that you have already seen what is waiting anyone that steps outside the door," Lillian said._

 _Alex again indicated to Kara to keep still._

 _The green Kryptonite dampeners faded suddenly._

 _"Don't get too excited Supergirl, we are just lowering the level for you to get enough of your strength back for this next part," Lillian said. "You see Alex and I have been having a lively debate over the course of the last few days. Alex has been resistant to seeing the world for what it is and I don't fault her for that as she has been fed a controlled narrative since the day you came into her life. Today though, today I hope that this little demonstration helps her break through."_

 _"If you think any demonstration will make her see your warped sense of things then you are mistaken," Kara said. "The world is changing and yes that includes aliens like me who just want to be able to live our lives."_

 _"The problem with that is that your lives affect the people who belong here in negative ways. Take Alex for example. From the moment you came into the Danvers' lives you changed the life she was meant to have. She lost her own father because he joined the DEO to protect you. Instead of becoming a medical doctor or a researcher she joined the DEO where she was recruited because of you. She had to see her mother split her love between her and you. Can you honestly look her in the eyes and not feel guilty that she has been unable to live her life because you wanted to live yours here on a planet you don't belong on?"_

 _Kara looked at Alex who remained stone-faced, refusing to show anything about what she might be thinking or feeling. Of course, Kara understood that her being here had affected Alex's life – how could she not see that. But she loved Alex and Alex loved her – they were sisters in all the ways that mattered._

 _"Nothing you can say or do will drive a wedge between me and my sister," Kara declared._

 _"I guess we shall see about that one," Lillian said. "Now Supergirl you have a choice to make. You can either break the leg of your dear sister or you can break Jeremiah's leg. You have five minutes to make a decision. If you don't make a decision in that time, your sister will watch as that guard there shoots her father in the head."_

 _The guard pulled his gun up and pointed it at Jeremiah's head._

 _"The clock starts now."_

 _"Wait," Kara said. "I haven't even recovered enough from the Kryptonite to do that."_

 _"According to Jeremiah's calculations, which are never wrong, you do," Lillian said. "Even a human can break another human's leg, so it shouldn't be a problem for the Girl of Steel."_

 _Kara looked at Alex who just stood there but her eyes were on her dad. She had no intention of hurting anyone or letting Alex or Jeremiah get hurt by the guards, but she needed to think through how to get them all out of here. There were too many guards scattered around for her to use heat vision or freeze breath. And she didn't think she had the speed right now either._

 _"You've already let a minute pass," Lillian said. "Trust me, there is no way out of this except by you making a choice. Alex why don't you tell her what is waiting outside the room."_

 _"More Kryptonite and guards," Alex said._

 _Kara was becoming unsettled not just by the ultimatum but by Alex who didn't look as if she was going to do anything. She took in the sight of her sister who looked tired but determined. Lillian had said they had been talking for days and Kara wondered how long Alex had been there. The only person outside of Lillian that Kara had seen since she was taken was Jeremiah and despite her trying to talk to him, he hadn't said much to her. Although he had asked her if the Kryptonite was up too high._

 _Another minute passed by and then another._

 _"Should I have him shoot Jeremiah in the head now?" Lillian asked._

 _"No!" Alex yelled. This time she looked at Kara and Kara knew what Alex wanted her to do – she wanted Kara to hurt her and not her father._

 _"Why do this?" Kara asked. "How does this prove anything? If you force me to do this then l'm not the one hurting anyone, you are."_

 _"Tick tock."_

 _Kara approached Alex, "I'm sorry." She didn't wait, wanting it to be over so she kicked hard at Alex's leg. The scream that came out of Alex's mouth as she fell to the ground was deafening to Kara and she made a move to help her, but the guards pointed their guns down at Alex and waved her off. The Kryptonite dampeners came on again but at a higher setting causing Kara to fall to her knees._

 _"I'm sorry," she said to Alex again._

Kara fell silent after telling Maggie about the broken leg.

"Kara, that wasn't your fault," Maggie said. "You were put in an impossible situation. Even Alex recognized that. The only one at fault is Lillian Luther. She did that to Alex not you."

"I should have done something, tried something," Kara said softly.

Maggie knew there was probably nothing she could say to make Kara feel less guilty. "I take it after that, Lillian still had Jeremiah shot in front of the two of you?"

Kara shook her head no and tears started to come down her face.

"Lillian gave Alex the next ultimatum – Kara or her father," J'onn said. "She chose Kara."

"Oh God," Maggie said, as the enormity of it hit her. As responsible as Kara felt for hurting Alex, Alex must feel a hundred more times worse for what happened to her dad. Poor Alex, she thought, to have to make a choice like that.

"Even if we find her, I think we've lost her forever," Kara said.

"No," Maggie said. "I refuse to believe that."


	6. Chapter 6

Maggie paced back and forth in Alex's apartment, wracking her brain for any ideas as to where Alex could be. She had been sort of unofficially staying here in hopes that Alex might return.

After yesterday, she didn't expect that was going to happen.

Alex had done it – she had hit a Cadmus facility.

It was located in Keystone City and they were still trying to track down how she had gotten there and gotten out or where she had gone. The other mystery was how she knew about that facility as it was not one that the DEO had on its list.

It had been some sort of facility where they had been doing experiments on aliens. According to the witnesses, Alex had gone in and released all the prisoners. They had described her which is how they knew it was her, but some of the details bothered Maggie as she was still limping badly. That wasn't the only thing though – several had said she was very pale and looked ill.

She had released the prisoners telling them to get out because the place was going to blow.

Maggie, who was still on medical leave from her job, and Lucy had flown to the scene to investigate not that there was much there to see but she had managed to track down some of the prisoners who had told her about this human woman they considered to be their hero.

Lucy meanwhile had taken custody of the Cadmus workers, which had only included a handful of guards and lab workers. The guards were useless as far as information. The lab workers said Alex had only one question for them which made no sense to anyone – where was Xerxes? The workers all said they didn't know what it meant and Alex had accessed their computer system and did a download to a portable drive and then ordered them all out – after setting a timer on a bomb.

The only thankful part in all of it was that Alex hadn't harmed anyone – well at least not majorly. She could have blown the place with all of them in it, but she had given them all the chance to get out. To Maggie that meant she wasn't too far gone.

Now they had yet another mysterious clue – Xerxes.

They had no idea if it was a person or a place or anything. The name appeared in none of the intel they had on Cadmus. The name meant nothing to Kara either. The only reference anyone knew about the name was the historical one as it was Xerxes who led the second Persian invasion of Greece.

Kara had wanted to go with them to Keystone, but Eliza had told her that she needed her to stay behind for another mission. Maggie had asked Lucy on the flight if she knew what that was all about, but she didn't know. Eliza had practically been locked away in the lab since the incident with Alex's blood. So much had happened that Maggie had barely been able to give any thought to that.

But once she and Lucy returned it was suddenly at the forefront of her mind.

Once they had returned and debriefed J'onn, Supergirl and Eliza who had sat there silent throughout but J'onn looked over at her now. "Tell them what you discovered."

"There was a substance in Alex's blood sample," Eliza said. "As soon as we were able to break it down to see what it looked like from a molecular standpoint, I recognized it or at least I thought I had. I had Kara fly to our home in Midvale to get some of Jeremiah's notes. He was supposed to have turned them over to the DEO when he joined, but he didn't want anyone getting their hands on them so he hid them away. The reason Superman left Kara in our care was because of the research we had done, specifically with what Jeremiah had done in studying Kryptonian biology. For instance, when Kara came to live with us we didn't even know if she would be affected by kryptonite. Yes, we knew the odds were that she would, but we needed to consider the possibility that due to Superman being here on Earth longer than her that she might not feel the effects or feel them differently than he did. Not only that, but he was also looking into what if any affect it would have on humans or other animals. He had obtained samples and broken them down so when I saw result of Alex's bloodwork, I knew it looked familiar."

"Are you saying Alex has kryptonite in her blood?" Maggie asked.

"Yes, but it's not the green kryptonite that weakens Kara. It's the red."

Maggie looked over at Kara. "Red made you get mean?"

"Sort of," Kara said. "But that kryptonite was synthetic. It was made in a lab. What Eliza is talking about is the real thing. I haven't ever been exposed to that."

"It's not technically the real thing," Eliza interrupted. "If it were then it wouldn't affect Alex at all. This has been modified slightly on the molecular level so that it would affect humans and only one person could have done that."

She didn't need to say it for them all to know that it must have been Jeremiah. Maggie sat back in her seat to consider this. Had he known this was going to be used on his daughter, she wondered.

"Why did the sample explode?" Lucy asked.

"The kryptonite is essentially causing the molecules in her blood to for lack of a better word – vibrate, which in turn is going to start increasing her temperature. I don't know what it is doing to her as far affecting her personality or mentality," Eliza said. "But we need to get her back here and flush her system of it because if we don't it's going to literally boil her blood inside of her."

"How much time do we have?" Maggie asked.

"I don't know," Eliza said. "It could be that the sample exploded because it was condensed. It could be any number of things. But based on what I can tell, the kryptonite will continue to raise her core temperature until …"

Until death, Maggie thought, not even listening to see if Eliza had finished the sentence. It was what Maggie had feared all along – that Cadmus would be the death of Alex one way or another.

There hadn't been much discussion after that except for more brainstorming on where she might be or what target she may hit next. Maggie left the DEO and had come here to Alex's place feeling worse than ever. The idea that Alex could die hadn't really crossed her mind until Eliza had told them about the Kryptonite. Lucy had brought up the point that if this was in Alex then surely Alex being a scientist had noticed something was off about her own body. Eliza reminded her that they didn't know what Alex's mental state was and the kryptonite could be affecting it just as much if not more than any physical issues she may be having.

Maggie had pulled Kara aside before leaving and asked her what it was like being on the red kryptonite. Even if it wasn't the same thing, she needed to have some idea of how it might affect Alex. It was yet another tough conversation with the Girl of Steel who seemed less like the confident, optimistic superhero with each passing day. She knew there was nothing she could say to Kara that would make her feel any better about this as the young woman still felt guilt over what had happened with Alex when Cadmus had them.

"I need to find her," Kara said. "All these powers and I can't find her."

Maggie gave her a hug, "We'll find her." Even has she said it Maggie knew there was a possibility that they wouldn't find her – at least not in time.

Her conversation with Kara was lingering in her mind as she paced the floor. Kara knew Alex better than anyone. She knew not just about her as a person, but with her powers she knew how to home in on things like Alex's voice so why couldn't she find Alex. The obvious answer was that Alex was out of range of even Kara's powers.

Maybe the obvious answer wasn't the right one.

As much as Kara knew Alex, Alex knew Kara and would know Kara's tendencies and more importantly her limitations, which could if used correctly give Alex an advantage in avoiding her sister.

There was something there needling at Maggie's mind but she couldn't seem to grasp it.


	7. Chapter 7

Alex wiped the sweat from her face. Since returning from Keystone she had been running a non-stop temperature. She considered that she might have an infection due to not letting her leg heal properly, but at the same time her leg had been bothering her less and less. While she was still limping, it wasn't hurting each time she took a step.

It could also be the cramped conditions she was in that was causing her to sweat. It was beginning to feel like a sauna in there.

Deciding she needed to get out of there for a bit, if nothing else to breathe some fresh air, she went outside. She checked her surroundings immediately to make sure no one was around.

Her trip to Keystone had been a waste as it had gotten her no closer to the answers she was looking for.

If only she had gotten more information when she had the chance from her father.

Her father.

She tried not to think about her father because every time she did, she could only think about him dying in her arms.

She had wanted to rescue him, get him away from Cadmus but in the end she had failed.

Shaking off these dark thoughts was not something she had been able to do and instead she tried to focus on her mission.

Xersis - her father had told her about the project but hadn't given her full details. She felt like she had wasted too much time already. All those weeks she had laid at home doing nothing when she could have been out looking for the last thing her father ever worked on – the project he had wanted her to be a part of.

"We're going to change the world Alex," he had said.

All she wanted was her father back. Not only had she wasted time in the aftermath of his death, but she had wasted the time she had with him at Cadmus. She should have listened to him more than she had.

 _Alex woke still feeling groggy and wondering where she was. It took her a few second to clear her mind and remember the sedative she had taken in Lillian's car. She was in a small room with nothing but the cot she woke up on. The door was closed, and she assumed locked but approached it anyway. Turning the knob, she found it was indeed locked._

 _Instead of forcing the issue she took a seat on the cot. She didn't have to wait long before the door was being unlocked, which made her assume there was a camera here watching her every move. It appeared to be a guard who opened the door, but then he immediately moved aside._

 _"Dad," Alex said getting to her feet as her father entered the room. Still, she hesitated._

 _"Do I no longer warrant a hug from my daughter?" Jeremiah asked._

 _Alex closed the distance between them and hugged her father, whispering into his ear. "Where's Kara?"_

 _Jeremiah didn't answer though, only pulled back from the hug. "Come on, let's go to my lab."_

 _Alex followed him out of the room and noticed the guard was joined by another who then followed them down a corridor. She thought she could take them both out but decided against any rash actions until she figured out what was going on here. She didn't say anything and neither did her father until they reached his lab._

 _She could tell this was a temporary space that had been set up and not something more permanent. This told her that Lillian hadn't brought her back to Cadmus headquarters but instead some secondary site that she hoped was still in National City._

 _"I want to give you physical if that is alright," Jeremiah said._

 _"Why?"_

 _"Please Alex, humor me."_

 _She looked over at the guards. "Do they have to be an audience?"_

 _Jeremiah looked over at them. "Give me and my daughter some privacy please."_

 _Both guards left the room but Alex could easily guess that they were stationed right outside the door and she suspected this room was also outfitted with cameras so there was no real privacy._

 _"Can you take a seat?" Jeremiah asked indicating she should do so on the examination table._

 _"Are you really going to give me a physical?" Alex asked._

 _"Yes," Jeremiah said. "It's standard for all personnel. Even I get my yearly checkup."_

 _Alex wasn't sure about any of this, but she took a seat anyway and Jeremiah started off checking her pulse and blood pressure._

 _"Where is Kara?" Alex asked while the cuff tightened around her arm to check her BP._

 _"She's safe," Jeremiah said. "You'll see her a little later."_

 _"I'd like to see her now."_

 _"That's not possible right now."_

 _"Why not?"_

 _"It just isn't. After we finish up here, Lillian would like to speak to you. She did make it clear that we would like you to join us, didn't she?"_

 _"She told me yes. She told me a lot of things that she believes, and she says you believe, but dad you can't possibly think that aliens like Kara have no place in our world. You, who invited her into our home and asked me to be her sister, you can't believe that they should be eradicated."_

 _Jeremiah finished taking her blood pressure and removed the cuff._

 _"The world has gotten more complicated since you were a kid, surely you see that," he responded._

 _"Of course, I do, but what Cadmus is doing, do you really believe in what you are doing here?"_

 _He looked her straight in the eye. "Yes."_

 _She didn't know what to say to that and silently hoped he was saying it only because they were surely being watched. He went on to check her lung function, eye reaction and a few other things before he asked her if he could take a sample of blood. She allowed it, figuring there was little point in protesting at this point. She stayed silent throughout._

 _"I was sorry to hear about you and Maggie," he said, as he began to draw out her blood._

 _"How?"_

 _"I've been keeping tabs on you as best as I can. You're my daughter, the person I love the most in this world," he said. "What happened between you and Maggie?"_

 _She paused, feeling like this was all a bit too surreal. She shouldn't be in some super-secret Cadmus lab talking to her father about her failed relationship._

 _"I don't want to talk about it."_

 _"Ok, just know if you do, I'm here to listen."_

 _She couldn't help but chuckle. "Yeah, dad, maybe we can forget that you missed a big portion of my life while you let your family believe you were dead only for you to join an organization that is completely at odds with my life."_

 _"That's not fair Alexandra."_

 _"Really? Because tell me how it isn't."_

 _"I know saying I'm sorry for missing out on much of your life may sound hollow, but I am sorry about it. You don't think it hurts me to know that I have only gotten to know about my daughter from afar when I all I ever wanted was to be with you," Jeremiah said. "Why do you think you are here now? You are here because I want my daughter in my life. I want you at my side. To do that though you need to start seeing the world for what it is. And it shouldn't be that hard. I know about the DEO. I know that they hunt down aliens that they see as threats so don't think that what we are doing is so much different than what you do."_

 _"I think we're done here," Alex said, getting off the table. "I want to see Kara now."_

 _"We're not done yet," Jeremiah said. "But we can take a break if you want."_

 _"What I want is to see Kara, please take me to her."_

 _"This way," he said._

 _She followed him out and the guards fell in line behind them. They made a right out of a different door than they had entered. Alex stayed alert to her surroundings just in case they needed to make an escape. She needed to make sure that when she did leave it was with Kara and her father. But the way her dad was acting was making Alex feel less and less like she could convince him that he needed to get away from Cadmus._

 _They took one more right before Jeremiah opened a door and indicated she should go in. She paused only a moment and then walked into a room that had no other exit and didn't contain Kara. There was a singular table with two chairs, and she approached it to see a tablet sitting on it which she immediately grabbed when she saw it showed Kara in some other room lit green from Kryptonite._

 _The door closed behind her and she heard it lock, but her father was there with her._

 _"Where is she? I don't want to see a video of her, I want to see the real her."_

 _"Please, take a seat."_

 _"Dad, what is going on here?"_

 _"I'm trying to explain it to you if you will just listen. Can you do that for me? I need you to really listen."_

 _Alex took a seat without a word and her father sat across from her._

 _"Alex, I need you to understand that I would never have allowed Superman to bring Kara into our lives if I had known what I know now. I would never have even let you meet her if I had known the affect she would have on your life," Jeremiah said. "Beyond my own regrets of not being there as you grew up was that I did nothing to stop Kara from consuming yours."_

 _"She's my sister. I love her."_

 _"She's not your sister," her father said. "And you owe her nothing. Her kind – the aliens who have invaded our planet, they do not belong here. But we do. I know you don't want to see it, don't want to admit it, but them being here is wrong, and yes that includes Kara. They must be purged from our planet."_

 _"You mean killed?"_

 _"Only if it comes to that, but I don't think it will. I've been working on something Alex, something big, something that will change the world," he said. "But I want my daughter with me on this journey. That is why you were brought here – so I could talk to you, show you that the work I'm doing is important to the future of our planet, our civilization. I need you with me. I'm tired of living a life without my daughter in it."_

 _Alex wanted her father to be part of her life so badly, but she couldn't see a path to that as long as he was working with Cadmus._

 _"What are you working on?" she asked._

 _He smiled. "I call it Xerxes."_

She hadn't learned as much about Xerxes as she would have liked because she had been under constant surveillance and it was clear that Lillian wasn't going to let her in too far until she proved she could see the world as Cadmus did.

But she was determined to find it now.

It shouldn't be in Lillian Luther's hands for her to control and use.

After all Xerxes was her father's legacy and now it was hers. And no one was going to stop her from taking what was hers.

She would take control of Xerxes and she would be the one to decide whether to use it.


End file.
